My brother and I were tools of destruction to him, tools that belonged to him by default. He was a vampire who sucked money, time and emotional distress from our mom and our real dad, and who constantly tried to use us to hurt them. We started to see what he was when around the time of Revenge of the Sith. My brother and I got older, and we got smarter. But like so many of the bigger things, it’ll always be there - hanging like an annoying little cloud. Such a small thing to add to the laundry list. Just chalk that up to one more little thing he stole from me.
#Han solo we rise remix movie
I was so indifferent to the whole experience that it wasn’t until this past year that I found out there was a whole portion of a Star Wars movie I’d never seen before. Much of my childhood love of Star Wars had dulled by 2005. I don’t remember much about that day except that we had to sit in the front row because we were 30 minutes late. That was a little easier than hate feeling nothing was preferable to feeling so much. By that time, I made myself feel indifferent to him. He’s the one who took us to see Revenge of the Sith. Of all the bad dads in film he could’ve chosen to imitate, he picked the worst one. I’m sure I thought it was funny back then before I knew that he didn’t love me the way a real father should. I remember that he used to tease me and my little brother with the most famous line in Star Wars in his best Darth Vader voice: I am your father. I remember that watching them was a way to escape into a galaxy far, far away rather than face the reality that, even at a young age, I was miserable around him. I remember toting my Star Wars VHS tapes to his apartment almost every weekend. There is a lot about my biological father I’ve made myself forget. He always and only attached his name to mine. But that was never the name my biological father wrote on my birthday cards. The court compromised, forcing my younger brother and me to hyphenate our names. My parents had been divorced for a few years by then, and when my biological father found out, he threw a legal shit-fit. It wasn’t my legal name, but I used it anyway because her name was my name. One of my earliest memories is using my mother’s name as my last name in elementary school. It took a long time for both of us to learn that. It belonged to my biological father, and because I had his name, he believed I belonged to him.
I was born with a name that was not given to me but forced upon me. This is the Star Wars essay I have to write. I procrastinated this essay for weeks because just thinking about it got dangerously close to cracking a wall I built for myself over the past 20 years.Īnd then “Empress Palpatine” Rey happened, and the wall came tumbling down. Then it was my loneliness - a whole lifetime of it, reflected in Padmé and Leia and Rey. I started thinking about the connection between romance and loneliness. I thought it would be silly and fun, a deep dive into the joy young women find through shipping in a fandom.īut the more I thought about it, the more morose it became. Originally, I thought I’d write about the women of Star Wars and the fuckbois who love them. This is the Star Wars essay I didn’t want to write. Star Wars deserved better.THIS ESSAY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. In our review last December, we remarked that "it should never be so clear to audiences that something in the filmmaking process has gone so terribly wrong-that the people who made the first film in a trilogy apparently didn't bother to sketch out a plan for the second and third, and that the movies' directors had visions for the series' future that were so fundamentally at odds. It's an effective tool that puts a lot of things in context and adds perspective, regardless of how you feel about Rise itself.
#Han solo we rise remix archive
Called The Skywalker Legacy, the feature intersperses footage from Rise of Skywalker's set with archive footage from the original films.
The special features include a two-hour-long documentary that covers a wide range of topics concerning the movie's creation. The movie was released on digital four days earlier than scheduled thanks to the current "social distancing" situation everyone is going through, which means we've been digging into the included featurettes to glean everything we can (before hopefully never thinking about this movie again). Indeed, Rise of Skywalker is no exception. And that means the home release comes packed with special features that reveal a lot more about the film itself, the culture around it, and even about past Star Wars films, if we're lucky. Regardless of how you feel about Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker-and if you're like us, you've made your feelings abundantly clear to all your friends, Twitter follows, and anyone else who will listen over the last few months-it's still a Star Wars movie.
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